Or, at least, reality TV.

My life seems to have these little spates of “random” that help me find humorous delight in daily activities.

Thank you, God.

Today’s little misadventure was based on a delightful little trip to Office Max at Eastwood Mall.

::Voice from Above:: “What is your name?”

::Me:: “uh, Matt”

::Voice:: “What is your quest?”

::Me:: “To seek the holy grail… and a non-slip chair mat for my desk chair so it doesn’t scratch my floor.”

::Voice:: “What is the airspeed velocity of a fully-laden swallow?”

::Me:: “African or European?”

Just kidding…

It was raining, once again. (or should this start, “It was a dark and stormy night…”)

::Voice from Above:: “Get on with it!”

I went into Office Max looking for a chair mat – one of those plastic sheets one lays down to protect the floor from the repeated rolling of a desk chair. On the way in, (more…)

Wow – even the pope’s got e-mail! Evidently John Paul II had it, too.

Not bad for a 78-year-old man!

Via Beliefnet

Actually, the Vatican’s got an excellent website: http://www.vatican.va/. So far, it’s updated in six languages, including English. Surprisingly, it does not include Latin – the official language of the Vatican for over 1900 years. It looks like they’re in the process of updating the site for Benedict XVI: the stamp of Johannes Paulus II is still heavy there.

Check it out!

Situational Irony: (A literary device) – the contrast between what happens and what was expected (or what would seem appropriate).

Yesterday, I did not put the license plates on my car, since it was pouring rain until dark. Today, I opened the package and discovered some irony:

The first three letters of my plates are “DMV” – yes, as in “Department of Motor Vehicles.” Now, for the rest of the time I’m living in Ohio, I’ll remember my misadventure of yesterday.

Funny, eh?

It was raining this morning, so I donned my waterproof Illinois windbreaker to carry out a task I had been putting off for the last few weeks: switch my driver’s license, car title and license plates from Illinois to Ohio.

Knowing, and having experienced the dubious reputation of Drivers’ Service Facilities in Illinois, I had put off going to take care of this business because I didn’t want to have to wait in all the lines. Just a week before I moved from Illinois, I had to take the written test because that was the requirement for the “just turned 26″ expiration. This particular 15-minute operation took an hour.

So I strategized: get to the facility mid-morning, after the first initial rush. I came prepared to the driver’s license bureau in the Elm Road Plaza with as many forms of ID as I thought I would need to complete my three transactions. I had my passport, my Illinois driver’s license, my birth certificate, proof of my residency in Ohio (phone bill and homeowner’s insurance declarations page), along with my checkbook to take care of the necessary payments.

Upon arrival at the license bureau, I discovered that all they could do for me was to officially inspect my car to verify that I could transfer my title from Illinois to Ohio. That’s because they only handle driver’s licenses and license plates. Since I switched states, I was required to take the written driver’s exam, which was in the Eastwood Mall on the other end of town. The license bureau didn’t do that part. Neither could they deal with my title issue: that was taken care of by the Trumbull County Clerk’s office downtown.

So, after my car was inspected (really, only verifying that my odometer didn’t read less than the title said, and double-checking that my VIN was correct on the title), off I went to the Driver’s License Examining Station at Eastwood Mall – or so I thought.

After circumnavigating the mall, (more…)

Today I finished writing the sermon for Sunday.

I’m realizing how important it is to lead the congregation from the pulpit: through the sermons, the pastor sets the tone of the entire congregation’s direction and ministry. Sermons create vision and inspire mission if they are well organized and prepared.

Tomorrow’s my day off: so now I’m going to watch a movie!

Ah, yes, packing up one’s belongings and moving from one’s hometown of twenty-six years to a new town several states away to start one’s first job (in one’s chosen field of collegiate study) after nearly a year in vocational limbo, and buying one’s first house in which one lives alone after living in a family of six, a fraternity of thirty-six and several apartments with roommates does, in fact, cause what Psychologists call “Transitional Stress.”

I know from personal experience.

Those in this situation prove the point of such Psychological academic ruminations by experiencing stress even when transitions are positive, such as the reception of oneself into a new community where everyone who is audible has spoken glowingly of the new pastor’s deportment and skills at preaching, music and a host of other things. It’s downright exhausting discerning which flames are campfires, cheery and warm, and which are arson – excessively hot and illegitimately placed. Discerning what the problems are and whether those things discerned as problems can or should be solved and when, if ever is difficult, especially when everything is new and the statistical sample size is excruciatingly small relative to the fullness of the story.

But today I realized that the congregation, in some respects, is going through a similar transition to mine, even if not with the same broad range and abrupt nature, and this transition has its own “Transitional Stress.” Yeah, I knew going in that I would be enough of a transition in and of myself to last me a long while. I’ll do things differently enough just because I’m me and just because I’m new and I don’t really know how things have been in the past that I’ll make a lot of changes without even realizing it. The “don’t change anything for 6 months” rule is in place because just being there is change enough.

I counted today, and one particular group within the congregation has had 6 disruptive transitions just in the last few months – and I make a 7th. No wonder they’re gasping for breath! As I become more aware of my surroundings, I think I will be able to do a better job of discerning what changes need to be made, and at what pace.

As for now,

“Lord have mercy!”

So it’s happened: this is my first blog entry from the new laptop. At the moment, I’m sitting in my living room on the couch (where else would I sit, the floor? I have no furniture!) typing on my wireless keyboard while the laptop sits on the glass-top coffee table a couple of feet away. (One downside, of course, to the wireless mouse feature in this arrangement is that when it slides down the couch cushion and into the crack of the couch, not only does the mouse pointer fly across the screen but the clicking of the buttons under the mouse’s own weight cause random activity to occur on the desktop.)

After several frustrating hours of dealing with undocumented “features” of my Sprint DSL-based computer network at home, finally both the home desktop computer and the laptop are talking to the great, wide Internet – and the laptop’s doing so wirelessly!

I do have to say that Sprint’s free phone technical support folks are very friendly and very competent – both times I’ve called them they’ve got me running again in a jiffy. But I had to call them because their website is almost innavigable and their online support documentation is almost non-existent.

I’m happy now, though, that all three little blue (no, not black) boxes are now blinking and chirping away happily in one corner of my home office, spreading Internet love and happiness throughout the entire house.

At around 6:00 local time, Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger became Pope Benedict XVI.

May God be with him.

The laptop has arrived that I ordered for use at the church. So far, I’ve run into all sorts of difficulties getting the internet connections set up, so I haven’t been able to configure it all that much.

But I’m working on it.

In the process, I killed my DSL router at home and had to call tech support. A very friendly Sprint associate helped me after only about 15 minutes on hold.

But, it’s late… time for bed!

The voting has begun – black smoke on the chimney of the Sistene Chapel signified today that no one has received the necessary 2/3 majority to become Pope.

Pray for our brothers the Cardinals that they may listen carefully to God’s voice.

Today I met with the Deconess board.

This is the fourth board of the five in the church. These ladies really keep stuff going at the church: setting up the flower arrangements, then taking them to homebound members; cleaning up after communion, arranging for family dinners after funerals, etc.

Their jobs hardly register in most people’s minds – but we’d all notice them if they stopped, that’s for sure!

Well, well, well…

I knew it had to happen sometime. Someone was quite upset with my post about the Budweiser commerical on Saturday. Unfortunately, they declined to leave me a valid e-mail address to which I could respond. Therefore, I responded in my comments, probably, under the circumstances, giving a more involved response than the situation warranted.

Nevertheless, “what I have posted, I have posted.” Feel free to comment on the comment if you want. Be warned, however, that “flame” comments will not be tolerated here. They will be summarily deleted and no response given.

I wish I didn’t have to say that…

Via Heal Your Church Web Site:

One of the few fond memories I have from my near 10 year stint in New York City was attending a church whom at the time boasted a brochure that pictured the intersection 40th street and 9th (Ave) and was captioned “Prostitutes down the street, homeless on our doorstep, what a great place for a church.�

Yeah, I know: be careful what you ask for. But the attitude is compelling!

I think today went well, overall – I got a few comments after the sermon that led me to believe that I might have gone over people’s heads… sorry! When people come up and say the sermon was “interesting,” that either means, “I liked it,” or “I had absolutely no clue what you were talking about.”

I think I got a little of both.

But Bible study was good – there was a huge crowd – 20 people showed up tonight. Romans is an interesting one to study right out of the gate. There are so many issues.

One of the things that struck me was the terminology we used and how it colors our impressions of the scriptures. I had just made the point that the Bible was written in everyday language, and offered an “alternative translation” for Romans 1:1 – 7, where I used “good-news-of-victory” for “gospel.” When I asked what comes to mind when we say “gospel,” I got a chorus of “Truth!” (even before I got “good news.”) This was telling, I think.

So we spent some time contextualizing “gospel” as “good news of victory.” I’m not sure how much any mindsets shifted just in the one conversation; nevertheless, I think seeing “gospel” in the “victory” sense helps us to see “truth” in the context of “reality”.

There will be more on the issue of Truth in our perception this Sunday – since we are covering John 14:1 – 14. But I won’t spoil the sermon!

Sermon 17 April 2005
4 Easter, Year A
Acts 2:41 – 47

“Be the Church�

I. Inspiration to renewal, revival and mission: this passage’s powerful history

The passage that [lay reader] just read for us has been blamed for numerous revivals, renewal movements, reformations and even revolutions within the church throughout its history. It single-handedly has spawned entire missionary movements, started new congregations, brought conviction to fractured communities and repentance in groups of believers. It is at the heart of our own Baptist movement.

Many emerging reformers have read this passage of scripture and taken it back to their congregations and their pastors and their church boards and hierarchies and said, “this is how the first disciples lived, why aren’t we living this way?�

Fortunately, for the church, many groups, responding to the urging of the Spirit, have gathered together, inspired by this very passage of scripture, to engage the Christian life in the manner of the apostles and the early disciples. Let’s look at a few examples:
(more…)