I found this almost a year ago, and thought it fit:

Dear Jesus,

We’ve valued your contributions these past three years but, despite the fact that your Father owns all the livestock on all those hills, an objective look at your numbers reveals that you haven’t been able to generate more than twelve solid leads.

Yeah, we recognize the fact that you’ve presented a couple of good sales pitches to some fairly large crowds, the simple fact remains that at the ‘end of the day’ you were only able to ‘close a deal’ with the same guys you came with. Now we must admit that anybody that can provide perpetual food and drink at parties is a guy you want to hang onto, but you realize as well as anyone else that each team member needs to carry His weight. At this point in time you’re just not cutting it.

We wish you well in all of your future efforts and thank you for your faithful service. We know you’ll find success, but the issue is that you haven’t found it here.

Our Best…

From Boar’s Head Tavern via The Dying Church

Why ought we measure Jesus’ followers any differently than we measure him?